Tuesday, March 13, 2007
It will probably reach 80 degrees today in St. Louis. Gorgeous weather calls for an open window to let in the fresh air and sunshine. So that’s what I did, but after about 5 minutes a pungent odor bitch slaps my nostrils. Well, I didn’t eat bean burritos for lunch, there was no garbage in the office refrigerator, I checked my shoes to make sure I didn't step in dog shit on the way into my office. Where o where was the stench coming from?
Well some mental giant decides to spread horse shit and a mulch mixture all over campus, with a huge steaming pile right under my windows. Everything smells like shit! My clothes smell like shit! My computer smells like shit! My pen smells like shit!
I decided to take a break from the stench and leave for lunch. I pull up to the Best Buy on Hanley open my door and the stench hits me again. Then I notice they spread the same mixture from hell all over their tree pods in which I parked under a tree. To make matters worse before I noticed I stepped right into it. So now I have shit all over my shoes. My car smells like shit! My new DVD smells like shit!!
It is really necessary to spread shit all over the place in the springtime when everyone is opening their windows? Can't this be done in the winter or summer when all windows are closed? What in the hell are they growing at Best Buy anyway which requires so much nutrition to be put into the soil? I don’t see any farmland at school either?
This is probably one of the differences between a big city like New York and a hick town like St. Louis. I don’t think New Yorkers cover their land with shit in the springtime but for some reason St. Louisans are required to partake in this ritual. It must be some ancient, pagan, St. Louis, horse shit spreading cult. I can’t figure out what it could be if not that. These same horse shit spreading cultists are probably the same idiots who disagree with daylight savings time. Because, you know, too much sun is a bad thing. Freakin' idiots!!
Well some mental giant decides to spread horse shit and a mulch mixture all over campus, with a huge steaming pile right under my windows. Everything smells like shit! My clothes smell like shit! My computer smells like shit! My pen smells like shit!
I decided to take a break from the stench and leave for lunch. I pull up to the Best Buy on Hanley open my door and the stench hits me again. Then I notice they spread the same mixture from hell all over their tree pods in which I parked under a tree. To make matters worse before I noticed I stepped right into it. So now I have shit all over my shoes. My car smells like shit! My new DVD smells like shit!!
It is really necessary to spread shit all over the place in the springtime when everyone is opening their windows? Can't this be done in the winter or summer when all windows are closed? What in the hell are they growing at Best Buy anyway which requires so much nutrition to be put into the soil? I don’t see any farmland at school either?
This is probably one of the differences between a big city like New York and a hick town like St. Louis. I don’t think New Yorkers cover their land with shit in the springtime but for some reason St. Louisans are required to partake in this ritual. It must be some ancient, pagan, St. Louis, horse shit spreading cult. I can’t figure out what it could be if not that. These same horse shit spreading cultists are probably the same idiots who disagree with daylight savings time. Because, you know, too much sun is a bad thing. Freakin' idiots!!
posted by DarthImmortal at 12:32 PM
2 Comments:
I am glad to read this. I HATE HATE HATE the smell of mulch. It literally makes me feel like I am gonna vomit and it gives me a headache. When I tell people that they look at me like I am a weirdo. I always hated playing on the equipment at recess as a kid cause I could not stand the smell.
If it makes you feel better, no matter how much we poop scoop our yard, if we open a window we get that smell. So I am with you in your pain. ;-)
I nearly pissed my pants reading this. Great rant!!!
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