Andy

The past couple of days have been very surreal for me. I have seen people in an ICU before but when I visited my friend AndyR I was completely horrified by what I saw. I remember when my grandmother was in the ICU she seemed so calm and relaxed. They had her under several blankets and her head was propped up on at least three big pillows. She was sleeping and seemed very happy.

Andy was lying with only a small rag covering his chest and groin. He still had blood all over his body along with this yellow substance, looking like he was just out of a war. A large tube with several smaller metal tubes was protruding from his neck surrounded by dried blood. His eyes were half open causing a “blank stare” effect with wet gunk along the edges. He was also bloated and stone cold. There was no movement or activity at all.

I talked to him but there was no response. I had to fight back the tears welling up inside of me at seeing one of my oldest and dearest friends looking like he was a cadaver. I am glad he was out because I can only imagine the pain he would have been in if her were awake. He had a nurse at his bedside watching him, because he was still at risk for dying. I found out he had two open heart surgeries because after the first the bleeding was not stopped. So they had to open up his chest again.

Another good friend was there and after he saw him he commented when would Andy’s ship finally come in? He is a very hard working guy, who is a faithful friend but he never seems to get a break. This was finally going to be his year as he was getting out of debt, his business was finally on the verge of taking off and then this happens. He has had only one girlfriend in his life because he works so many long hours (and that was a short term thing) but she was an abusive bitch and treated him like shit.

Seeing this makes me realize just how fragile life can be. At any moment the icy hand of death can swoop down from the skies and squeeze the life out of us. It makes me appreciate the little things in life like laughing with a friend. If you hold off doing that thing you want to do, you might not be alive tomorrow to do it. So live everyday like it is your last. When I see stuff like this it is also hard for me to believe in a God. Because if there is a God what kind of justice is this? What did this guy do to deserve this? Sorry for venting but this really pisses me off.