The New Survivor

Friday, August 18, 2006
I voted last week in the Primaries with the other three people but I instituted a new strategy. I only voted for politicians whose name I did not recognize. The only way we are ever going to change anything is to end the Imperialism within our government and get new politicians elected. We can’t do this by voting for the same retreads every election. It seems like every four years the same names appear on the ballot but we are forced to choose one anyway even though we already said “no” last time.

If candidate X gets voted out he will return in another election maybe at a different position and there is nothing we can do about it because we have to vote for one or the other. Usually the other candidate opposing candidate X was also voted out of something else too. We are left with choosing one dumb ass over another dumb ass.

I watched Treehouse of Horror VII on the new Simpsons season eight DVD. In that episode, two aliens impersonated Clinton and Dole (in the 1996 election) in a plot to enslave Earth, and summed up the problem with American politics in one eight minute episode. Just before the election, the aliens were exposed but the people had to vote for one or the other. So Earth was enslaved because there was no other politician to vote for. The funniest part was at the end when one of the aliens whips Marge and Homer says “I didn’t vote for him.” Yea, like it really would have mattered. Homer, I’ve got news for you, even if you would have voted for the other alien, you would still be enslaved.

So I started thinking (this is dangerous) about ways we can get better politicians. I came up with a solution which institutes a draft giving every American citizen an opportunity to be a Senator and even the President. Just like you get selected for jury duty, you could get called to serve as a Senator, Governor, Alderman, Representative or any other elected official. You would be required under law to participate.

Once selected, you would answer a personality profile because we don’t need any more dumb asses to serve; we have plenty of those now. So this profile would screen out undesirables and also put people on the ballot in an appropriate office. So instead of voting for the same trash every election you would get fresh candidates every time.

To make sure all American citizens are informed, we have access to the completed personality profiles and the detailed job histories of each candidate on the ballot. We could even televise the event and promote it as the “Survivor” of government. On Election Day people would be very informed about the candidates and could then vote for the individual they thought would do the best job.

We would finally have candidates from all income levels, all social ladders, all races, and both genders; it promotes fairness. There are no political parties, no need for campaigning, and no lobbyists to buy elections or issues from elected officials.

Once elected, they would serve one term and then go back to civilian life. This process would repeat every two to four years depending on the need for candidates for that year. Just like jury duty the employer would be required to save their position in the company so they can easily return to civilian life.

The President is selected from the outgoing pool of Senators and Representatives by the current Senators and Representatives. The few selected would be voted by the current Senators and Representatives and the top two vote getters would face off in a Presidential election. The people would vote and the winner is the President of the United States for the next four years. After that term expires they go back to civilian life and the process repeats.

As our system stands today, we only get the richest morons who can’t hack it in the business world running for public office. Let’s face it, working any other job the entire current administration would have already been fired but these losers get away with one failure after another because there is no accountability.

I got this idea a long time ago while reading about the famous Roman general named Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus. Around 458 B.C. the Romans were at war with the Aequians and on the verge of defeat. They summoned Cincinnatus, who was a farmer, to lead their armies in victory and save the empire.

He was appointed dictator but quickly gave up the appointment once the enemy was defeated. Cincinnatus did not crave wealth or power; he just wanted to be a farmer. Those are the types of people we need in government today. People who realize political office is a public servant job and NOT an entitlement to get even richer and help all of your friends get richer too.

What do you think?

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6 Comments:

Blogger Louisiana said...

i'm starting to get the idea that your world would look a lot different than the one we are in now..

now, you just have to buy a big sucker of an island and invite us over..but pls don't implement some silly clothing requirement...you will loose me there...

9:56 AM  
Blogger DarthImmortal said...

Chana,
Are you referring to the clothing requirement which requires all women to be topless? Because I would be under intense pressure to leave that alone.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Darth,

I think it would be extremely difficult to come up with a fair way of deciding who is and who isn't "undesirable." If you're going for all out fairness, then you've already tainted your electoral process by having someone's life being declared "undesirable" for office. Futhermore, there are a lot of people out there who look fan friggin' tastic on paper, and don't function so well in reality. I think those are two pretty serious problems that would arise from your theory.

Plus, in order to even begin to implement this system, you'd have to completely overhaul the education system in America so that everyone has the same opportunity no matter where they are for exactly the same education. Otherwise, when the lottery happens, no one from a state with a bad education system would ever be represented in government, which adds even more to the biasness problem.

I agree that the party system needs to be done away with, but I'm not sure whether doing a sort of political lottery would be the right solution to this very complicated problem.

Good thinkin though!

PS: A tropical island country run by a bunch of smart attractive people sounds like a winner to me! When you get the money and buy it, lemme know!

10:06 PM  
Blogger Louisiana said...

you don't want all women to be topless hon...i have seen some things you rather avoid..specially those that have breast feed 5 kids...lol..not that i know anyone personally..ahem, cough, cough...lol...but i swear, when i visited my grandma in the states my jaw dropped to the floor. here was an 80 yr old women who took of her top in front of me, bra off an everything and i couldn't believe her boobs...my goodness, they were incredible..i have seen 20 yr olds with more sagging and less perkiness...i was shocked...now i got her genes for a bad thryroid and other junk but WhY on earth could i had not inherited the boobs gene? life it's unfair i tell you..

so how did you enjoy reading all about my grandma's great looking breasts? what a way to start the work week eh? he, he..you are welcome...lol..

5:56 AM  
Blogger DarthImmortal said...

Liz,
You have an excellent point about the educational system needing to be fixed. I want to publish my thoughts about that too but it will be a big post and I did not want to combine both.

My only point with this post was to try to figure out a way to give lower class people a direct impact in our government. As Gandhi pointed out, in order to figure out people’s problems you have to be one of the people with the problem. The upper classes will never figure out the problems of the lower classes.

Chana,
In light of your eloquent words, we should definitely rethink the toplessness of women on the island. I would write more but I just threw up in my mouth. Thanks for the visuals though. :)

12:15 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Darth,

Chana's right about not wanting see some women's boobs. It might ruin the boob fixation for ya!

More on point though, I think Ghandhi's right to a point. However, if he's completely right, then we have a problem with anyone who takes office. If we only notice our own problems, then anyone put into office is going to neglect a major issue. The embodying purpose of Congress was to try to correct that error as best as possible and provide across the board representation. I think the best way to achieve balanced representation is to have term limits on everyone in Congress as well as the President and the Supreme Court. Perhaps we could have widely varying term limits for everyone. For example, the President could have the two term limit, Senate could have a 3-4 term limit, Representatives could have 5 term limits, and the Supreme Court could have 2 very long term limits (like 10 year terms) or something like that. Just an idea.

10:53 AM  

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