Wednesday, July 19, 2006
As a little boy my summers were filled with long hours playing ball at the park. To quench our thirst we visited a neighbors water hose or external faucet attached to a house near the park. The water tasted great and kept us hydrated. Those days were before the dark times; before the Empire.
Today the media and the corporate machine (the Empire) have convinced us the water from our faucets is poison. This could be one of the single most successful advertising campaigns ever launched against us; and it’s all built on a huge steaming pile of bullshit. We have now been convinced the free water we drink from our faucets is poison and the water sold in bottles by Pepsi and Coke is pure.
When the notion of bottled water surfaced about 20 years ago I remember laughing and thinking “Who would be stupid enough to buy bottled water when they can drink it out of any tap for free?” Fast forward to today and the bottled water industry is bigger than the soda industry and I still laugh at all the suckers buying bottled water thinking it is healthier.
The picture on the bottle shows mountains with clear running streams when in reality most of the bottled water is from various municipal water supplies, it even states it on the bottle in small print. The municipal water supplies are much better for you because those water systems are subject to vigorous and regular inspections by the EPA; nobody regulates or inspects the bottled industry so there could be anything living in that water and you would never know.
Recently I have been seeing canned air for sale at the check out counters for $10-$15 per can. As the back of the can reads, "In today's stress-ridden, high-energy environment, you've got to be at your peak performance." The first time I saw it I laughed my ass off just like the first time I saw bottled water. But this will probably catch on and become the next big thing.
Did you know they actually have oxygen bars? They have one in Las Vegas and I am not sure how many more are in operation around the country. People actually pay to walk into this place that pumps pure oxygen into a room which you breathe. I’ll bet anything this “fresh oxygen” is nothing but colder filtered air pumped in directly from the outside.
I imagining visions of a future where due to the massive advertising campaign by the canned air companies everybody is convinced the air is poison so they have their own personal oxygen tanks on their back connected to a mask. When in reality the air is fine but air (like water) is free but free is not good for the economy, so they’ll create a market out of bullshit and fear. The public is stupid so we’ll all walk around looking like spacemen.
It’ll be cool though because Apple will have an iMask so you can breathe air for only $29.99 a month and the mask will have headphones so you can listen to music in your portable environment.
Somebody please shoot me.
Today the media and the corporate machine (the Empire) have convinced us the water from our faucets is poison. This could be one of the single most successful advertising campaigns ever launched against us; and it’s all built on a huge steaming pile of bullshit. We have now been convinced the free water we drink from our faucets is poison and the water sold in bottles by Pepsi and Coke is pure.
When the notion of bottled water surfaced about 20 years ago I remember laughing and thinking “Who would be stupid enough to buy bottled water when they can drink it out of any tap for free?” Fast forward to today and the bottled water industry is bigger than the soda industry and I still laugh at all the suckers buying bottled water thinking it is healthier.
The picture on the bottle shows mountains with clear running streams when in reality most of the bottled water is from various municipal water supplies, it even states it on the bottle in small print. The municipal water supplies are much better for you because those water systems are subject to vigorous and regular inspections by the EPA; nobody regulates or inspects the bottled industry so there could be anything living in that water and you would never know.
Recently I have been seeing canned air for sale at the check out counters for $10-$15 per can. As the back of the can reads, "In today's stress-ridden, high-energy environment, you've got to be at your peak performance." The first time I saw it I laughed my ass off just like the first time I saw bottled water. But this will probably catch on and become the next big thing.
Did you know they actually have oxygen bars? They have one in Las Vegas and I am not sure how many more are in operation around the country. People actually pay to walk into this place that pumps pure oxygen into a room which you breathe. I’ll bet anything this “fresh oxygen” is nothing but colder filtered air pumped in directly from the outside.
I imagining visions of a future where due to the massive advertising campaign by the canned air companies everybody is convinced the air is poison so they have their own personal oxygen tanks on their back connected to a mask. When in reality the air is fine but air (like water) is free but free is not good for the economy, so they’ll create a market out of bullshit and fear. The public is stupid so we’ll all walk around looking like spacemen.
It’ll be cool though because Apple will have an iMask so you can breathe air for only $29.99 a month and the mask will have headphones so you can listen to music in your portable environment.
Somebody please shoot me.
posted by DarthImmortal at 11:16 AM
6 Comments:
Oxygen Bars started in Japan some time ago. And pure Oxygen improves the body's ability to heal itself. You have to remember, our air IS polluted, so pure oxygen is closer to like how air used to be. It's the premise for Hyperbaric Chamber treatments for skins burns and more.
But I agree with you, how would anyone besides a doctor or scientist truly KNOW it was pure oxygen?
"It’ll be cool though because Apple will have an iMask so you can breathe air for only $29.99 a month and the mask will have headphones so you can listen to music in your portable environment."
And Microsoft will release the Microsoft Oxygen Explorer Pro 1.0 mask for $10.99, will sell shitloads of them that don't look or work as well, and instead of a "Blue Screen of Death" airflow spontaneously stops and you pass out... especially if you forget to download the monthly security update... :D
You KNEW I would respond to THAT comment, Didn't You!? LMAO
Hehehehe... actually, the iMask sounds like a kinda cool idea...
I've been to one of the oxygen bars in Las Vegas -- they put a little tube in your nose and you breathe "flavored" (scented) oxygen for like five minutes for five bucks, or something like that. It's kind of nifty and almost certainly better for you than the smoke-laden air in Vegas. I get that it's a town of vices, but, BLECH! Even as a social smoker, I can't stand the smell of smoke.
calgary's water is actually very tasty. but Miami's was not. i don't know why but it wasn't...
pretty interesting points..thank you for giving me something to think about.
I have a filter on my kitchen sink because our water is nasty tasting. I just fill up a water bottle when I am on the go.
I have a filter in the shower. If I didn't have it, my hair and skin would be as dry as straw.
You should get the first season of Penn & Teller's Bullshit. They dedicated an episode to bottled water and it is a real eye opener...for those who fell into the Empire's clutches. Lovely word, by the way.
They replaced three or four different bottled waters with regular old tap. The people drinking the four swore, SWORE to the difference in taste and texture (?) based on price and origin. Too funny.
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