Friday, November 10, 2006
Last Friday I finally joined the cell phone club. I have been resisting because I believe cell phone users are the rudest people on the face of the Earth so I did not want to join their crappy club. My boss tempted me with a new Treo 700w, complete with email and Internet access. He truly is the devil!! I accepted his offer and signed away my soul.
This phone is incredible and I now have a ticket to free, unending rudeness!! I can now ignore people all day long. At the store when I checkout I can make a quick call and force not only the checker, but also the people behind me, to wait while I chat aimlessly.
When I drive I can occupy my time with Internet access and dart in and out of lanes without looking. I don’t even see when people flip me off because I am staring at the phone and not the road. Stop signs and street lights don’t even exist to me anymore. The other drivers have breaks and they should learn how to use them. Besides, they should get out of MY way and the sooner they learn this, the better life will be for all of us.
Eating dinner with the family is also better now. I can ignore them and just talk with other people the entire time. The same holds true when I eat out at a restaurant, especially if I am there with only one other person. This is really fun as I can talk on the phone and leave the other person with me just sitting on the other side of the booth looking dumb. LOL!!!!!
I can walk down the street chatting on my blue tooth wireless headset. While I may appear to be talking to myself; I’m not. This helps with the whole ignoring thing too. I can talk even louder when I’m in a group and I don’t even see people give me dirty looks because I don’t give a shit.
I can’t wait until my first theatre experience so I see how well the phone works; it’s going to be fun to talk in the dark. I might have to talk a bit louder especially if all of the dimwits around me are chewing on popcorn and sucking on sodas. If I don’t get any calls, I can at least keep checking on the phone every couple of minutes. That small screen is very bright in a darkened theatre. Hopefully the movie will not be too loud because the sounds my phone makes as I turn it on and off are very audible if the theatre is quiet.
WOW!! In fact, my whole attitude has changed for the better! The world IS truly all about me now. Somebody should have told me a long time ago how much fun it is to have a cell phone.
This phone is incredible and I now have a ticket to free, unending rudeness!! I can now ignore people all day long. At the store when I checkout I can make a quick call and force not only the checker, but also the people behind me, to wait while I chat aimlessly.
When I drive I can occupy my time with Internet access and dart in and out of lanes without looking. I don’t even see when people flip me off because I am staring at the phone and not the road. Stop signs and street lights don’t even exist to me anymore. The other drivers have breaks and they should learn how to use them. Besides, they should get out of MY way and the sooner they learn this, the better life will be for all of us.
Eating dinner with the family is also better now. I can ignore them and just talk with other people the entire time. The same holds true when I eat out at a restaurant, especially if I am there with only one other person. This is really fun as I can talk on the phone and leave the other person with me just sitting on the other side of the booth looking dumb. LOL!!!!!
I can walk down the street chatting on my blue tooth wireless headset. While I may appear to be talking to myself; I’m not. This helps with the whole ignoring thing too. I can talk even louder when I’m in a group and I don’t even see people give me dirty looks because I don’t give a shit.
I can’t wait until my first theatre experience so I see how well the phone works; it’s going to be fun to talk in the dark. I might have to talk a bit louder especially if all of the dimwits around me are chewing on popcorn and sucking on sodas. If I don’t get any calls, I can at least keep checking on the phone every couple of minutes. That small screen is very bright in a darkened theatre. Hopefully the movie will not be too loud because the sounds my phone makes as I turn it on and off are very audible if the theatre is quiet.
WOW!! In fact, my whole attitude has changed for the better! The world IS truly all about me now. Somebody should have told me a long time ago how much fun it is to have a cell phone.
posted by DarthImmortal at 9:27 AM
3 Comments:
Don't forget to give your cell number to a few people in the office so you can have them call you when you are in some crappy meaningless meeting.
You'll also want to download a porno so you can watch it in line at the supermarket. The people around you won't get to enjoy the vid, but the audio will get their attention.
And last but not least, you'll want to send mail to yourself repeatedly with the vibrate option turned on...bmmmm.....bmmmmm....Oh that's another message on my phone...gotta go...;)
Wow! And I thought the only way to become an incentive, babbling, obnoxious, rude-ass jerk was through alcohol. Thanks, Darth, for setting me straight.
Darlin...I'm in tears....you have completely made my day. This post is HYSTERICAL!
Glad all is so well in your world! hahaha
Hooray technology!
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