Thursday, December 14, 2006
Chana recently made a comment that got me thinking about some things that I wanted to share with everybody. My response to her was: “I'm just a man trying to be the best husband and father I possibly can. I’m trying to learn from my mistakes and trying not to make the same mistake twice. If I can accomplish that then everything else is gravy.”
Below are some of the principles that I use to guide my life. This is a work in progress and is always subject to changes or revisions. My primary goal is to improve my life while enhancing the lives of everyone around me. I openly welcome all suggestions, criticisms or comments.
Accept responsibility for your mistakes and don’t make excuses for them.
This is the most important principle and why it was listed first.
Learn to apologize when you hurt others or when you make mistakes.
The second most important principle is to make amends for your mistakes. Not only do you want to apologize, but you should do it quickly and sincerely. Apologies are NOT a form of weakness like so many believe but a form of leadership and character which is missing from our society.
Listen to others before striving to be heard.
This is probably the best way to become a leader; by listening to others you gain power and respect. People who are always too busy talking and never listening make terrible leaders.
Never repeat a mistake.
The definition of insanity is repeating the same action while anticipating a different outcome.
Hold others accountable for their mistakes.
This is aimed at parents and is a contributor for instilling the ‘it’s not my fault” attitude from many within our society. Hold your kids responsible for their mistakes and, most importantly, make them pay for their mistakes. If little Johnny breaks a window don’t blame the window for being in the way. Also, make him earn the money to pay for the window.
Even in business, you must hold both your bosses and underlings responsible for their actions. I am not a big fan of giving free passes because they promote mediocrity. If excellence is to be properly rewarded then incompetence or failure must not be ignored.
Always follow through with what you say.
Always keep your promises; your words should always be the ultimate truth. Only when you are trusted will you be fully respected. When I tell my son he is going to be hit he either modifies his behavior or braces himself for impact (he almost always modifies his behavior - it only take a couple of times before they learn).
Don’t get locked into one way of thinking.
It is alright to accept ideas from a variety of ideologies. Whether you are liberal or conservative it is NOT alright to accept every item on the agenda. Likewise, it is alright to accept ideas from the opposing agenda. This principle is what made America a strong country and what is contributing today into making us a weaker country.
Allow opposing ideas to be heard within your family or group.
As a leader, whether it comes from my workers or my son, I openly accept and encourage criticism. This challenges me to be the best I can be and allows everyone to have input into situations. Remember the more ideas you get the faster and more efficiently you can resolve problems.
Always help people in need.
One of your primary roles in life should be to remove the obstacles which obstruct people from obtaining their goals. If you want to be an effective leader then you should also provide a healthy, nurturing environment for the people who follow you or work for you.
Never allow stupid, petty rules limit your options.
Always reward creative thinking even if long standing rules are broken. My son knows if he has a good reason for breaking the rules then he is allowed to break them as long as he is not deceitful and lets us know about what happened right away. This promotes free thinking and teaches a child to evaluate every situation as it materializes. I don’t ever want my son to be locked into one way of thinking nor do I want him following ridiculous rules just because they are the rules.
Accept your limitations but try to improve on them when necessary.
It is alright to say ‘no”.
I learned a long time ago that sometimes the best decision is “no”.
Learn to prevent disasters and when they occur learn damage control.
Speeding down the highway while talking on your cell phone and eating your lunch is probably going to result in an accident. It seems as if no one in our society ever thinks about their actions or the consequences of their actions.
Attitude will often get you farther than talent.
As an IT manager, I only hire people with a positive attitude because I can always teach the technical skills. A negative attitude, however, can kill or sabotage the morale of the entire team. If I am interviewing two people: one with a very positive attitude but with average technical skills and another with outstanding technical skills but a negative attitude. I’ll hire the positive attitude every time.
Surround yourself with quality people.
Life is too short to spend it with assholes; enough said.
Always give your best effort in everything you do.
People might question your level of talent but never your heart or your desire. You should be able to live with that.
Below are some of the principles that I use to guide my life. This is a work in progress and is always subject to changes or revisions. My primary goal is to improve my life while enhancing the lives of everyone around me. I openly welcome all suggestions, criticisms or comments.
Accept responsibility for your mistakes and don’t make excuses for them.
This is the most important principle and why it was listed first.
Learn to apologize when you hurt others or when you make mistakes.
The second most important principle is to make amends for your mistakes. Not only do you want to apologize, but you should do it quickly and sincerely. Apologies are NOT a form of weakness like so many believe but a form of leadership and character which is missing from our society.
Listen to others before striving to be heard.
This is probably the best way to become a leader; by listening to others you gain power and respect. People who are always too busy talking and never listening make terrible leaders.
Never repeat a mistake.
The definition of insanity is repeating the same action while anticipating a different outcome.
Hold others accountable for their mistakes.
This is aimed at parents and is a contributor for instilling the ‘it’s not my fault” attitude from many within our society. Hold your kids responsible for their mistakes and, most importantly, make them pay for their mistakes. If little Johnny breaks a window don’t blame the window for being in the way. Also, make him earn the money to pay for the window.
Even in business, you must hold both your bosses and underlings responsible for their actions. I am not a big fan of giving free passes because they promote mediocrity. If excellence is to be properly rewarded then incompetence or failure must not be ignored.
Always follow through with what you say.
Always keep your promises; your words should always be the ultimate truth. Only when you are trusted will you be fully respected. When I tell my son he is going to be hit he either modifies his behavior or braces himself for impact (he almost always modifies his behavior - it only take a couple of times before they learn).
Don’t get locked into one way of thinking.
It is alright to accept ideas from a variety of ideologies. Whether you are liberal or conservative it is NOT alright to accept every item on the agenda. Likewise, it is alright to accept ideas from the opposing agenda. This principle is what made America a strong country and what is contributing today into making us a weaker country.
Allow opposing ideas to be heard within your family or group.
As a leader, whether it comes from my workers or my son, I openly accept and encourage criticism. This challenges me to be the best I can be and allows everyone to have input into situations. Remember the more ideas you get the faster and more efficiently you can resolve problems.
Always help people in need.
One of your primary roles in life should be to remove the obstacles which obstruct people from obtaining their goals. If you want to be an effective leader then you should also provide a healthy, nurturing environment for the people who follow you or work for you.
Never allow stupid, petty rules limit your options.
Always reward creative thinking even if long standing rules are broken. My son knows if he has a good reason for breaking the rules then he is allowed to break them as long as he is not deceitful and lets us know about what happened right away. This promotes free thinking and teaches a child to evaluate every situation as it materializes. I don’t ever want my son to be locked into one way of thinking nor do I want him following ridiculous rules just because they are the rules.
Accept your limitations but try to improve on them when necessary.
It is alright to say ‘no”.
I learned a long time ago that sometimes the best decision is “no”.
Learn to prevent disasters and when they occur learn damage control.
Speeding down the highway while talking on your cell phone and eating your lunch is probably going to result in an accident. It seems as if no one in our society ever thinks about their actions or the consequences of their actions.
Attitude will often get you farther than talent.
As an IT manager, I only hire people with a positive attitude because I can always teach the technical skills. A negative attitude, however, can kill or sabotage the morale of the entire team. If I am interviewing two people: one with a very positive attitude but with average technical skills and another with outstanding technical skills but a negative attitude. I’ll hire the positive attitude every time.
Surround yourself with quality people.
Life is too short to spend it with assholes; enough said.
Always give your best effort in everything you do.
People might question your level of talent but never your heart or your desire. You should be able to live with that.
Labels: My Life
posted by DarthImmortal at 12:08 PM
2 Comments:
Well, i'm beyond flatter i said something worth thinking over. and for your post, applause to you.
see, that is the part that you don't see. not all men, fathers, husband, boyfriends, man feel the need or want to be better. aim higher. want more not for themselves but for their loved ones, humanity in general.
Chana.
many females too, many mothers, wifes, daughters...
and that is what sucks. the standards of the past. the values and morals of what made our concious still work are so gone in so many.
we have become a society of ' me, me' out there. selfish, self-centered. and often we don't understand why we are then cynical, out of touch, cold..
so when humans, like you, break the what it seems norm. it needs to be recognized and noted as a great thing. for it is.
keep on your journey of a lifetime with your priorities straight and your heart and soul in check.
:)
Bravo! Well said. I am printing out this list and going over it with my sister. You should teach school children these things, then maybe we won't have so many fucked-up adults running around.
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