The Secret Life of Daydreams

Sunday, January 01, 2006
When I am writing a book I like to take frequent breaks to review and edit what was written. Sometimes other stories come to me and I have to quickly jot them down. Here is another example of one such story:

The Secret Life of Daydreams

We make choices on a daily basis; some small and some life changing. What happens when the choices we make lead us to a fork in the road? What happens when all that matters lies far off on a distant journey? Is true love and happiness worth such a journey?

If you were to explain these feelings to a happily married person this is the story you would tell:


Imagine one day you wake up and find yourself married to someone else. You have the house of your dreams full of your life’s work and all of your children are healthy and happy but this life is lacking one important thing (maybe the most important thing)…your true love. That one person who plucks out life’s pain and, in return, gives you smiles and happiness. That one person you need to validate every dream and make everyday feel magical.

How far would you go to find the love you lost? Would you trade everything you own and take a journey that could end in disaster? Close friends would think you were crazy to walk away from everything and roll the dice on something that only exists in fairy tales.

Is it even possible for a soul mate to exist? Is the whole concept of a soul mate a fairy tale? Is it just a love-sick teenager’s dream thought up while pining for their future love? After literally hundreds of dates you believe the concept of a soul mate is a fairy tale that only exists in the movies. Sure it is easy to write about such things, but they never actually happen. You’ve spent your entire life looking and have given up. Based on the movie Serendipity you have always imagined that fate would intervene to find a soul mate but there would be no Serendipity for you.

Now you are married so the dream is dead and the life you imagined would be so happy is lonely and dreary. Days are spent alone in the darkness staring at the computer screen waiting for words to appear but they elude you. One day melts into the next until the dreams you had can no longer be remembered. You can feel life’s light slowly fading within you and hope the end is near. Smiles and laughter are fleeting; mostly created by the admiration of your daughter’s achievements and the jokes you tell to friends. Game over.

And then this happens........

What if you met someone completely intriguing that made you feel alive and happy again? What if you found someone whose smile reminded you of Christmas Day? What if that person is married? Based on the Serendipity principle you would just ignore this person and think about how great it would be if you two could be together but they’ve already found their true love and are married. So you should just ignore these feelings and put your heart in fates hands.

Months would go by with no contact and then one day out of the blue they contacted you. No big deal just talk for a while about a problem but you notice something in their voice and yours. The smiles, the laughter; hell, it’s been so long you don’t even remember what its like to be happy like that with someone else. Then you hang up the phone and that’s it.

No more contact for months but the person is on your mind every day. Not out in front but in the depths. Their laughter still echoes within your mind and you could still see their smile every time you closed your eyes. Just a brief thought, wondering how their day was going, just a thought wondering if they were laughing today; well, surely they are, so stop thinking about this. Replaying the conversations in your mind you might chuckle to yourself and shake your head and get back to work.

Then they call again and invite you on some grand adventure; an adventure you have always wanted to take but when you told friends in the past about wanting to do this they laughed and thought you were crazy. It turns out this other person is involved in this activity and has been for quite a while. You go on the adventure and it was amazing but still you don’t spend much time with the person because they are married and you do not want to interfere.

Years go by; you’ve matured, and changed. While still in a loveless marriage you call the other person a couple of times but no return call. Then one day a message on the voice mail from them wanting to chat. Finally you make contact again and there isn’t enough time to get everything out you want to say. You fell like you were never away at all. The laughter returns, the feelings return and all the old thoughts rush your brain. Why is this happening? Are they as happy talking with you as you are with them? It just feels so good to talk with somebody that understands you and that you understand because very few people actually do understand you.

Now you find out their life was not that much happier than yours. In fact they are divorced and depressed. Their marriage was loveless like yours. Dating is difficult for them because the opposite sex does not seem interested or they run from the smile you have been so desperate to watch. How can that be? How can someone not nurture this flower?

Then another call, and another and another; each time deeper and more involved so you start to think that this other person might actually have feelings for you too. You can hear it in their voice and see it in their eyes and feel it in their hug. Each time you both meet, you both light up like pinball machines with smiles and laughter. You’ve never heard a depressed person laugh so much; this must be some kind of mistake. They must not really be that depressed to laugh so much and smile so big but this depression is confirmed through a mutual friend.

Now finally the connection is made with the Serendipity principle; but it’s not possible; they can’t have feelings for you. If they did that might mean only one thing but that one thing is nothing but a fairy tale. After hanging up the phone you actually have to hide the lights shining from your eyes because of the fear you might get busted for something you never did. You feel guilty but why?

Now an amazing transformation begins to happen to you. Poetry and writing returns to your tongue and words start to drip so fast there are not enough hours in the day to write them all down. A spring returns to your step. The life you hoped would soon fade begins to expand beyond, as the dreams you had buried in your mind begin to re surface. With this person standing next to you, things that seemed unobtainable are finally reachable. Stop and dry your eyes; this cannot be happening. You must put a stop to this nonsense once and for all, just tell them how you feel and that will surely chase them away.

So the big night is finally at hand. You finally get a private dinner with someone that has been on your mind for years and someone you have a strong connection with. After a few hours which are flying by like minutes you can see the feelings in their eyes and when they touch you it’s like a bolt of lightning shooting throughout your body. So now you finally show your hand and tell them your private thoughts. You have shared what you were feeling so it can finally be dismissed as the fantasy it was and you could get back to your miserable life. These moments of ecstasy were nothing but great conversations and this other person will prove this fantasy of yours is false ……… but they don’t. They stare back like you are actually making sense and even confirm some things.

Then you see an amazing transformation. Their body language is more caring and loving than every before. Their mind says wait but their body says yes. It’s evident. But they need time to think and you don’t blame them. After years of harboring these feelings and weeks of thinking about the Serendipity principle - it is still possible, it might still be a reality. Then the next phone call comes with the words, “it’s reciprocated”.

Life’s light that weeks before seemed so dull, is now shining brightly. You have newly found energy and your sight has returned. It is possible to obtain happiness on a level most people can only write about?

So now the journey begins. Knowing what you know, you must let this puzzle that is your life fall together. Are you strong enough to fulfill your quest to find a soul mate? As the emotions rush through your head you cannot let them cloud your judgment. This is real; you can feel it in your heart. If this is real, then all the years of loneliness and all the years of loveless ness could be worth it. Just one taste of true loves kiss would be worth everything.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Milwaukee Girl said...

Wow Darth - You usually make me think on my blog and this really got to me. Good show! And Good luck with the book!

7:20 AM  
Blogger DarthImmortal said...

Skye,

We have to assume that if one person in the relationship is miserable then all parties are probably not happy either. So it would be best to start over than to continue on with a miserable relationship.

I think the child's life would be improved if that negative vibe was removed from the home. So while a divorce would be bad, being raised in a home void of love would be worse.

Sandi,

Thanks for reading I enjoy all comments even critical ones. Nothing promotes improvement better than criticism.

To Milwaukee Girl,

Thanks for your commnets. I also enjoy your blog and always look forward to reading anything you write.

6:07 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

That post was an amazing read. You've certainly given me plenty more to think about.

I believe we all have soul mates, sometimes several. It's what we choose to do with those thoughts and feelings and when or even if we decide to take action.

You just made my head swim...I'm not sure I should be thanking you for that, but thanks anyway lol. Great post.

12:50 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

This is a beautiful writing...

Love is bittersweet in all forms, isn't it? And sometimes, I wonder if the story you've described isn't necessarily a loveless situation, or rather sour grapes...the always wanting of what you can't have. Not necessarily appreciating the one in front of you...always searching for more. The grass is always greener in all the yards but your own.

Interesting....

10:14 AM  
Blogger DarthImmortal said...

I originally wrote this story as the love story within the fictional book I am authoring. But it’s just too big and could easily take over the book so I edited it out. The story was too good to delete so I decided to post it on this blog. It’s basically the story about finding your true love in the midst of the mistakes and lack of judgment made in youth.

With that being known, I am not advocating people should have affairs with married people or that married people should have affairs just because they find somebody more interesting than their spouse.

If you do find a legitimate soul mate then having an affair with them is not the proper way to begin the relationship. An affair is a destructive relationship and this story is one of true love; so I don’t want to taint it with an affair. However, the marriage will definitely end, not because of the new love found but because it is not a good relationship; there will be pain associated with it.

I am really after an opinion of the writing style. It’s something new I am experimenting with and, at times, seems too corny; a style that could be unbelievable to the reader. I am trying to sprinkle my poetry over my storytelling and create something new. The goal is to paint a picture of emotion for the reader so they can feel what the characters actually feel.
Rebecca, I am glad you like the story.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

I'm not sure what I think of the idea of a soul mate. Maybe or maybe not.

I'm not married, but some of the things you described in here I've felt with another, that happens to be gone for quite a while actually.

Maybe your soul mate is the person that Browning describes.

"She looked at him, as one who awakens; The past was asleep, and her life began."

For me, he did just that. Anyway, back your story. I know quite a few people who have found themselves in this position; Married to someone that doesn't bring the best out of them, but suffocates them. Now they haven't found a soul mate as of yet, but they choose to stay because of the children. The whole situation really is a catch-22.

I'm not sure what I'd do in this situation. I'd just hope I'm smart enough to make the right decision the first time around.

Cool blog, btw :)

6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a bunch of hooey.

4:26 PM  

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