The Silence of Love

Sunday, January 01, 2006
I'm in the middle of writing two books when this little story came to me. I thought I would share it with everyone.
The Silence of Love

It was a crisp October morning with a blanket of frost covering the grass when she met him for the first time. She didn’t know it then but it would be the birth of so many lovely memories, cherished moments and unforgettable days.

She noticed him for the first time as he rushed passed her trying to avoid a tardy on his first day of class. She didn’t think much about him at first until she entered the class and sat right next to him.

They slowly started talking to each other, he thought she was nice and she thought he was too talkative. Then they were lab partners and spent a lot of time together. The friendship started with much laughter, studying and working on projects together. Slowly and deeply they were becoming very good friends.

The long hours together always felt like minutes because they always had something interesting to say, an interesting story, a wacky idea, an emotional thought; they would share a lot of feelings, laughter and smiles. Most importantly, she knew that he was always there for her.

At that time, she was unhappily married to someone else; a marriage void of love, laughter and friendship which often plunged her into little depressions. Whenever something went wrong or she was hurt, she would call him. He would always cheer her up and sprinkle smiles all over her unhappy face. He was her guardian angel, her best friend.

When school ended, he suddenly moved to another city. Sometime during all the years they had spent together he had fallen in love with her but did not want to disrupt her marriage. She loved him deeply but didn’t yet realize it.

One day after her divorce, she realized her friend was not there for her; no more smiles, no more laughter. When she finally called him and they talked again, he realized his love for her was still very strong and now she began to feel it too. He moved back to town and they resumed their friendship in which love quickly caught fire. He finally gathered enough courage to confess his love for her. Instead of admitting her love for him, she confessed the painful divorce left her heart scarred and her trust in men was shattered.

This bad news was a crushing blow so he gave her some space and stayed away from her but believed in his heart she was the “one”. His heart was now broken so now her phone calls were only answered by voice mail. Finally she realized her love for him so she frantically called but the lover she desperately needed was lost.

How could this happen? If love cannot flourish with people so deeply in love, then love is forever dead. If only he had remained supportive he could have unlocked her heart; he could have proved that love was alive and happiness was not just a dream. His heart was too fragile to risk breaking it again gambling on her love so he did not talk to her.

Then the phone calls stopped as did the laughter and the happiness. She wanted him to be there, to hold her and to talk to her but he was gone. She yearned for an emotional anchor but he wasn’t there for her. If she had reached out to him sooner and just let him know she loved him he would have been there in an instant. Soon the smiles faded and life’s depressing frost paralyzed her heart once again.

Out of desperation to fill the lonely nights, she met someone else. The same man she divorced years earlier but with a different face. One day she called her old friend and told him she was getting married. Her words tore his heart out again but he smiled and wished her happiness ever after. If only....

After Thoughts

The two main ingredients in a successful marriage are friendship and sex. Both of these are needed to spend a fulfilling life with anybody. But if you have to choose one over the other which one would be the most important ingredient to you? Mine would be friendship.

My thoughts are if the friendship is built first then the sex will eventually happen and compliment everything leading to total happiness (soulmate). There must be an initial attraction, so let's assume neither the friend nor you is a slack-jawed troglodyte.

Sex and looks will probably fade over time but the friendship will last forever and will be the most fulfilling ingredient. So that being said, a marriage built on sex with no friendship will ALWAYS end in tragedy. These tragedies occur when sex is introduced before friendship.

It is important to realize these relationships can develop into marriage when either the addiction to sex is very strong or when the fears of being alone are stronger than the dysfunctional realtionship. I think most marriages end in tragedy because they are not even love stories at all but just "booty calls" gone crazy. It is this tragedy that creates new dysfunctional realtionships. So the cycle of broken hearts continues.

An even worse fate to consider if you are in a hopeless marriage and you do meet your soulmate like the woman did in the story. In this case, the timing for finding her true love is out of balance and by the time she gets divorced her opportunity evaporated. So this booty call gone crazy might have ruined your life in more ways than one.

In the story, should these "friends" have given up so easly or was the relationship they shared just an emotional outlet for their pathetic lives and not love at all? If these "friends" cannot be lovers then is love even possible? Also, how do you cross the sexual barrier once the friendship is established?



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4 Comments:

Blogger Milwaukee Girl said...

Things to ponder - which we've done in the past. Is a friendship worth risking for potential happiness. At one point I was engaged to a decent guy - I was not in love but he could provide the things I needed - then along came a friend who I was close with, he told me that he wanted me to leave my fiance. The hardest decision on my part was I knew i could be content for the rest of my life with my fiance - could I risk that for even a moment of being ecstatic?

In hindsight, the risk was worth taking but now I struggle with being alone. The fiance is married with kids and I am single with only slight prospects. Was the risk worth it? Only time can tell.

7:24 AM  
Blogger DarthImmortal said...

Milwaukee Girl,

What happened to the friend you broke off the engagement for? Is he still a friend or out of your life completely.

i believe there is more to life than just being content. Content leads to boredom and nothing kills love faster than boredom.

While being alone now might suck, in the long run it will probably make you a stronger woman capable of making better decisions. Plus, you might find somebody better than Mr. Content.

Thanks again for your awesome comments.

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Something else to ponder..maybe these friends were afraid of what would happen to their friendship if they tried to cross to the next level.

5:33 PM  
Blogger jade007 said...

HI There
Thanks for checking out my blog and for the compliments about my poems. Ilike your site.
Jade007

8:34 PM  

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